You might feel angry reading this, maybe even judged. You’re thinking, “How could I be the villain after everything they did to me? After the way they treated me? I did nothing wrong.” And you didn’t — not intentionally. You just did what you knew to do at the time. But growth asks more from us.
Oh, it’s so easy, isn’t it? To cast someone else as the villain in your story. Especially when we’ve been hurt, overlooked, manipulated, or used. But as difficult as this is to hear, at some point along your life’s journey, you’re going to have to take responsibility for everything that happens to you.
You have to stop handing out the villain role to others while placing a halo over your own head.
You have to do the inner shadow work. It’s the kind of work nobody ever sees or applauds you for. The work that breaks you open, and changes you in ways you never expected.
“You can’t heal what you won’t face.” — Unknown
All the Empath Ever Wanted Was Peace
To all you empathic souls—
All you’ve ever really wanted is a peaceful life without all the drama, control, and people trying to box you into places you were never meant to go. It didn’t matter how hard you tried to fit in or to please toxic people, it was just never enough.
The meal you spent all day preparing, the care and thought you put into making things right all completely forgotten the moment you missed an expectation you didn’t even know existed or knew you were supposed to meet.
Each time you tried to fill their cup, a bit of yours drained away. Each time, you departed from a toxic person, you were left exhausted, and drained of your energy, your time, and a piece of your heart was chipped away yet again.
Recognising Your Role in the Empath–Narcissist Cycle
But at some point along this journey, you have to start looking at your own part in it all. It’s you that allowed these behaviours by staying within the energy field that binded you.
Breaking the chains of that bind isn’t easy, but no one else can do it for you. You’re the one who has to do your own shadow work. You can’t keep saying, “I’m just the nice guy who always gets walked over.” That’s not enough anymore. You have to ask yourself why you let it happen over and over, again and again.
Choose Peace Without Apology
It really is okay to say a big “NO”. It’s absolutely okay to walk away without explanation when your peace matters more than other’s drama and chaos. Just remember—it’s also okay for others to do that too. And they will.
“When the student is ready, the teacher will appear. When the student is truly ready… the teacher will disappear.” — Lao Tzu
When the Narcissist Sees You As The Villain
It’s easy for both the empath and the narcissist to see each other as the villain in their story. But life asks much more of you than that. It asks you to rise above the blame, to look much deeper, and to start clearing out your own shadow. You have to face the uncomfortable parts of you that were always willing to shrink, to stay, and to continually abandon your own needs just to keep the peace.
It’s highly unlikely the narcissist will ever do this vital inner work. They’ll keep seeing you as the villain, and you have to become okay with that. To be okay with being misunderstood, to be okay with never being seen or heard clearly- That’s all part of the healing process too.
Healing After Narcissistic Abuse: Let the Light In
Life continually keeps showing us how to let in more light. Feeling broken isn’t really the end, it can actually be the start. Sometimes the vessel has to break open so something much greater can pour in.
“From the wound comes the cure.” — Zohar (Kabbalah)
And if you can just start beginning to trust the process, even just a little bit, somehow you’ll find your way through.
None of this is easy. Eventually there comes a moment where you look back and realise the journey, as painful as it was leads you back home to yourself.
The sweetest victory of all, from the empath to the narcissist, is finally having the strength to move on and rebuild your life.
The narcissist’s fragile ego probably hoped you’d come crawling back, broken and apologetic, tail between your legs, still convinced you couldn’t survive without them.
However, it’s your ability to walk away and never look back in the narcissists direction that is the ultimate freedom.
By Lisa Precious
In this video I share a powerful vision from meditation that reveals the deeper spiritual reality of narcissists. I’m shown how their ego, like a shell blocks them from the divine light of truth, trapping their soul within.
If youve ever felt pulled to go back to someone who hurt you, this video helps you to recognise the dynamics behind that pull as a step towards healing.
Lisa Precious helps empaths, seekers, healers and sensitive souls reconnect with who they truly are, beyond the societal roles, the wounds, and the survival patterns.
If you're ready to step into deep healing and further spiritual clarity, let’s have a talk.
👉 Apply to work with me and email me directly at contact@smileyblue.org.
