The best moments in life happen to us during the most ordinary days!
On this beautiful day, my husband and I were out for a long drive around the beautiful hills of Palos Verdes in the city of Los Angeles.
He stopped at the Starbucks drive-through on our way and meticulously ordered what I would want for that weather and time of the day. His predictions far outweighed any AI’s precision.
As he handed over my coffee, he played my favorite number from the playlist and continued driving. His impeccable charm took my heart to the doors of heaven to thank my aligned stars. I told him in a quiet voice that I was so lucky to have him. Thanks to coffee for always bringing out my best side!
His response to my comment rather surprised me. He said, oh, Not a big deal. You have always been good at telling me what you like and don’t. You have no idea how much that spares my energy from trying to gauge your mind. I know what makes you happy or sad in a heartbeat.
That was an interesting perspective. It reminded me of all the times I had been specific about my needs and wants.
This one time, when we were newly married, we had our first rough argument while driving back home from a beautiful-until-that-moment long ride. I tried to hide my rolling tears by moving my head away from him as heplanted his eyes firmly on the steering wheel. He suddenly pulled over the car at Starbucks and made a smart move by ordering something for me without asking me, like how husbands try to impress you with their choices.
A few moments later, a warm banana walnut bread with white chocolate mocha found its way to my table with him. I remember telling him in an anguished tone: At this moment, I only want a chai tea latte, extra hot. As I sipped some tea, I told him: Next time we fight, never buy me this banana walnut thing. It is only going to worsen my feelings for you!
Bingo! I was spot on, with not just the specifics but have articulated the consequences so well, too.
I have always been very vocal about what I want and have appreciated the outcome when I got it the way I like it!
At work, I always worked so hard, going out of my way to accomplish things that were not even part of my responsibilities. I craved to be noticed for my initiatives. I always planned for the right moment to ask for a raise or growth opportunities. That is when my Boss saw how well I had done. Unfortunately, that moment never came.
Instead of beating around the bush, when I proactively communicated to my manager that I wanted a raise or promotion, I got them instantly!
When I grew impatient with my best friends about how little they were available to me when I wanted to talk to them the most and how I was outgrowing our friendship due to our lack of common interests, the tables turned overnight.
I could recollect hundreds of such instances from the past, but to keep the long story short, Ask for what you want, and you will get it from the one who truly cares! If not, at least you will know the answer: That someone is not worth your time!
Amazingly, the more I am honest with others about myself, the more I fall in love with myself and those who value my interests, likes, and dislikes.
To clarify further, it is not selfish to put yourself first. The only way to truly love and care for someone else is to respect their time by letting them do what is more meaningful to you both.
I find it more impressive now when my husband, friends, family, colleagues, or strangers tell me what they want from me without inhibitions. Since they know I understand the language of authenticity so well, they are genuine with me and share all the good, bad, and the ugly. This elevates our bond and creates long-lasting, beautiful relationships.
The next time you want something, ask for it! You deserve it!
My wish for you today: May you always have the guts to speak for yourself and ask for what you want! You are worth it!
Life is too short to be wasted during the wait! Just ask!!
© Tamil, 2023 - This article has been provided with the kind permission of the author, Tamil. You can reach out to her via the links below.
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