The Strange Nature of Becoming

Becoming a new person is a strange thing.

What once mattered doesn't anymore, and the things that used to hurt heal. What once weakened us becomes strength. Relationships that used to hold us together fall away.

Everything transforms.

Shifting Attachments

Lately, I've been reflecting on how my attachments have shifted. I'm not talking about feeling bitterness or indifference. I've genuinely become someone new. That version of me doesn't need the same things or the same people anymore.

I still think about the ones who meant the world to me. Childhood friends, old partners, close companions who once felt irreplaceable. I'm still connected to them in some way. The memories haven't disappeared, but the emotional grip has.

I don't feel the need to hold on like I used to. Maybe I've finally built the relationship I was missing, and that was with myself. Or maybe I've been hurt so many times that my tolerance for emotional dissonance is now zero. Either way, I've outgrown what used to anchor me.

"The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new." — Socrates.

The Space Opens

I've noticed something else: every time I let go of a relationship, space opens up. Something always fills it. It’s not always a person, either. Sometimes it's a deeper relationship with my own body, craft, mind, or my peace. There's a lesson here: we don't always replace people with people, but something else always comes in.

The challenge is, we don't realise which connections are slowing us down until we release them. That could be a person, a habit, or a belief. Even something we thought was sacred.

What Shapes Us

There are situations I've walked through that no one should have to endure, yet they've all sharpened and refined me. They all made me more capable than ever before. Still, emotions don't always obey logic. There are moments of sadness when someone I once loved chooses someone else, especially when I know they're not choosing better, just familiar.
I've learned they're not replacing me. They're actually replacing a version of me that no longer exists.

The Version That's Gone

That old self, the one who tolerated chaos, who abandoned himself for peace, who played small to be accepted, is gone. The truth is, those who still need that version of me will have to find it elsewhere. I won't be it again.

Sometimes, people don't grow; they just recycle. They loop the same old patterns with different faces and call it love. But real growth breaks the cycle loop.

Clarity Isn't Coldness

I've also noticed how quickly I can now attach and detach. It's not out of numbness; it's just alignment. When I let go of someone, I grieve, but don't need to linger around. I move forward with clarity and don't mourn potential anymore; I measure alignment.

I still love deeply. There are people I would welcome back if our paths aligned again, just not at the cost of who I've become.

Evolution

Who I am now doesn't need what I once clung to.

That's not detachment, it's simply evolution.

"We are not going in circles, we are going upwards. The path is a spiral; we have already climbed many steps." — Hermann Hesse.

Thank you, Ernest Lee Woods, for this personal reflection