Why Thinking You’re Better Than Them Isn’t Helping You Win

Hello Smiley Blue crew 🚢

This week, we hand over the mic to the sharp and soulful Silo Rhodes.

In "Why Thinking You’re Better Than Them Isn’t Helping You Win," Silo warns us of that sneaky little voice in our heads that says, “Well at least I’m not like them.”

The Illusion of Superiority

A common misstep in relationships, whether romantic, professional, or personal is believing you're better than the person who hurt you. Perhaps you are. Maybe you do carry more integrity, effort, honesty, or awareness.

But holding onto that belief creates a blind spot that causes you to underestimate the person across from you. It also keeps you anchored to the comforting idea that fairness exists—even when the game is clearly rigged.

The Rules Are Rigged

Those who harm others on purpose have already stepped outside the lines. They know how to bend rules, manipulate situations, and discard boundaries when it suits them. Meanwhile, the person trying to “do the right thing” is still waiting for some higher system to step in and make things right.

Yet, the system almost never does.

All Rules Are Made Up

Most people don’t want to admit: every rule is made up.

Whether legal, religious, social, cultural or familial, none of them are sacred. All were created by people—often to preserve control, avoid chaos, or protect power.

Far from ignoring the game, some see this early and start living by something entirely different. They don’t wait to be told how to move; instead, they create their own way forward.

They don’t completely ignore the game, instead they choose not to be ruled by it.

Why Rule-Followers Stay Stuck

So why don’t more people do the same?

Commonly identity is built around being “good” and being “right”. Being accepted and affirmed by the very systems that keep them boxed in and contained. They find comfort in the structure, even if that structure limits them.

For some, the reward is simply being seen as righteous. But righteousness doesn’t promise freedom, joy, or even real power. It only guarantees you’ll keep playing a role that someone else wrote the script for.

The Secret Duality

Many rule-followers live in contradiction. Outwardly, they just follow the scripts. Yet, beneath the surface, a deeper part of them already knows what‘s true.

They yearn for truth, desire meaningful impact, and seek a kind of freedom that isn’t dependent on approval or acceptance.

Yet stepping into that desire isn’t easy. It always requires risking status, relationships, and the identity they’ve built over time.

Still, through that sacrifice comes a greater reward: true power.

Who Really Wins?

You can see this dynamic everywhere—from politics and courtrooms to marriages and sports. The biggest shifts don’t happen when someone plays harder; but when someone plays differently.

These people don’t just accept the rules—they study them. They learn how to navigate them, bend them, and, when necessary, walk away from them completely.

By doing this, they don’t just win the game; they simply redefine it.

Self-Righteous or Self-Liberated?

So here’s the deeper question to ask yourself:

Who do you believe you’re better than?

An ex?
A parent?
A colleague?
A former friend?

And what is that belief actually doing for you?

Is it helping you grow, or is it keeping you trapped inside a moral cage while the other person moves through life untouched?

If you’re stuck, then you’re not winning, you’re just playing a role labeled "right."

Change the Game

If you want transformation, you can’t keep following a script someone else wrote. You need to name what matters to you—and then build around it. That means stepping into discomfort, facing uncertainty, and being willing to let go of approval.

The reward most certainly won’t be applause, a trophy or a thank-you. Instead it will be freedom - and yes, freedom has a cost.

But so does staying where you are.

Choose wisely.

— Silo Rhodes

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