🪨What If Your Purpose Starts to Feel Like a Burden?
What happens when you think you’ve found your life’s purpose… and suddenly are not so sure? You’re not alone if your ‘purpose’ is suddenly wearing extremely thin. This is the hidden part no one talks about—until now.
When I first heard the call to share my spiritual gifts more widely, I listened.
“This is it,” I thought. This is what it feels like to be aligned with my purpose, to be doing what you were always born to do.
And in many ways, it was. It still is.
Because when your soul starts whispering to you, and something deeper than the mind begins to pull you forward and upwards, you can’t ignore the calling.
You’re being invited into something beyond all logical explanation, and you're being called into your soul’s expansion.
I answered the call and acted on it, believing what I was doing was right, which, of course, it was with the knowledge I held at the time.
But, and there's a big BUT.
📞The Soul's Calling—and the Big “But”
Three years later, after pouring myself into this path—writing, offering insights, building something that's supposed to serve, I found myself standing somewhere I hadn’t been anticipating:
I was repeatedly on the brink of sadness and despair.
➰The Loop of Trying, Drifting, and Feeling Lost
I’ve always known how to pick myself up, dust off and keep going. I’ve had to.
But something felt different this time around. The clarity and certainty I once had were fading fast. The compass I trusted to guide me now seemed to be drifting off-course. Each time I decided to keep moving forward, I ended up back in the same place: out of alignment, unsure if any of it still made any sense. It became a loop of repeated frustration.
And then, recently, almost in an instant, something just shifted.
⛓️💥Letting Go of the Version of You Who Had It All Figured Out
I woke up one morning, and the attachment to what I believed was my purpose had completely let go.
Just like that, it all lifted.
I hadn't stopped believing in my spiritual gifts or the good I wanted to do, yet I could finally see with clarity what had been subtly hiding underneath my good intentions:
👼When Ego Wears a Halo
It was a longing to be seen, recognised and validated. The final remnants of my ego that had been clinging on all this time.
And, even in the middle of my spiritual service, ego had been silently driving the vehicle, always waiting for some kind of worldly success to confirm, “Yes, this is working. You’re doing it right.”
🌏The Real Purpose Was Never “Out There”
That morning, I clearly saw this profound truth: I had already fulfilled the intended purpose and done the work.
The lesson had never been to succeed in the ways the world would recognise.
I had to completely surrender the old beliefs of what success needed to look like and release the illusions that helping others must somehow lead to results that the world measures success by.
Perhaps you’ve been in this place too, because it’s not uncommon for individuals to discover their purpose only to end up feeling worn out and mentally challenged.
Maybe you’ve followed a calling and ended up feeling overwhelmed, lost, disappointed or disoriented. Perhaps what felt like your divine purpose at the start slowly turned into something exhausting and empty. If this sounds like you, I want to tell you this: You definitely didn’t fail.
🌱You’re Evolving
You’ve simply outgrown the illusion of what you thought your purpose had to be and evolved.
I’ve come to see that I never really wanted the podcasts, the stage, the public image and persona. I may be capable of those things, but they’re not truly me or what I want to go for, even though I thought they were. What I’ve always been seeking is much more sacred: A peaceful life.
🕊️A Peaceful Life Is a Powerful Life
I believe everyone wants to simply be at peace within themselves. And now this is where the journey has brought me. There is no desire for a platform, only clearing away the parts that can no longer come with me.
If you’re here reading this, maybe it resonates, maybe not. Know this: We really are always exactly where we are supposed to be.
📔Tzimtzum: The Sacred Contraction Before Expansion
Kabbalah is a mystical tradition I like to return to often; it always offers an explanation for what feels like those really strange in-between moments in life.
According to the Zohar and other teachings, when the Light (divine energy) withdraws, it is simply the soul’s vessel being emptied. This is called tzimtzum, it's the space where the divine pulls back so that something much deeper can be born within us.
🏺A New Vessel is Born
What’s being born isn’t always known, another project or post. It’s actually a completely new vessel—one that can hold even more of the Creator’s light for more service.
Now I see that what I was chasing wasn’t inherently wrong, yet it was an earlier stage of the soul’s yearning. The hunger then moves beyond that, into a more generous one, which doesn’t always outwardly appear to be productive; it’s actually much more like being in stillness.
If You’re Feeling This Too…
If you’ve lost your passion for something you once felt called to…
Or perhaps it’s even disappeared, or your “purpose” now feels confusing or no longer motivating…
You might just be right on time.
Kabbalah teaches that this is the descent before the ascent. The ego may be losing interest because something much, much deeper is waking up within you that doesn’t run on worldly success, instead, it runs on purity and authenticity.
😵💫 Breaking the Loop of Ego and Success
Ego often runs in circles, chasing recognition and results, wanting proof that what you do matters. Sometimes you need to break that loop, stop trying to prove yourself externally, and let the inner work silently deepen.
You may not need to quit just yet, but you may need to realign, move in a different direction, take a long pause and keep holding yourself up closely to the light of truth.
🤲 An Invitation
You’re welcome to send me a personal question or soul inquiry- I’ll always do my utmost to offer a meaningful response. For those who feel called, annual subscriptions are also welcome in exchange for a more personal, in depth written reply.
Some questions may be explored (anonymously) in future letters, especially if they carry something universal others might need too.
You can email me here: Lisa Precious -contact@smileyblue.org
